Chuck Norris Java Facts

– Chuck Norris serializes objects straight into human skulls.

– Chuck Norris doesn’t deploy web applications, he roundhouse kicks them into the server.

– Chuck Norris always uses his own design patterns, and his favorite is the Roundhouse Kick.

– Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

– Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your web app will turn into a swing application, and a very bad swing application containing lots of icons of human skulls.

– Chuck Norris demonstrated the meaning of Float.POSITIVE_INFINITY by counting to it, twice.

– A synchronize doesn’t protect against Chuck Norris, if he wants the object, he takes it.

– Chuck Norris doesn’t use javac, he codes java by using a binary editor on the class files.

– Chuck Norris’ java code never needs to be optimized. His code is so fast that it broke the speed of light during a test run in Sun’s labs killing 37 people.

– When someone attempts to use one of Chuck Norris’ deprecated methods, they automatically get a roundhouse kick to the face at compile time.

– The java.lang package originally contained a ChuckNorris class, but it punched its way out the package during a design review and roundhouse kicked Bill Joy in the face.

– Chuck Norris never has a bug in his code, EVER!

– Chuck Norris doesn’t write code. He stares at a computer screen until he gets the progam he wants.

– Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

– Chuck Norris’ binary edited classes ignore Java bytecode verifier.

– Chuck Norris methods doesn’t catch exceptions becuase no one has the guts to throw any at them.

– Chuck Norris will cast a value to any type just by staring at it.

– If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.

– Chuck Norris is the only one who can use goto and const in Java.

– Chuck Norris can compile Java code in .NET Framework, obviously just by staring at it.

– Chuck dont need to catch an Exception because Java is afraid of the “flying tornado kick” at the moment it throws

– Chuck Norris’s code can roundhouse kick all other Java Objects’ privates

– Java visibility levels are public, default, protected, private and “protected by Chuck Norris”, don’t try to access a field with this
last modifier!!

– Chuck Norris eats JavaBeans and Roundhouse Kicks JavaServer Faces!

– Chuck Norris can divide by 0!

– Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.

– Chuck Norris code uses agressive heap natively

– Every single line code of Chuck Norris runs in real time. Even in a multi threading application.

– When a CPU load a Chuck Norris class file, it doubles the speed.

– Chuck Norris can execute 64bit lenght instructions in a 32bit CPU.

– Chuck Norris implements “Indestructible”. All the other creatures implements “Killable”.

– Chuck Norris only program Java web applications to get a .WAR in the end.

– Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a Java class very hard. The result is known as a inner class.

– Chuck Norris can do multiple inheritance in Java.

– JVM never throws exceptions to Chuck Norris, not anymore. 753 killed Sun engineers is enough.

– Chuck Norris doesn’t need unit tests because his code always work. ALWAYS.

– Chuck Norris extends God.

– Chuck Norris workstation has so memory and it’s so powerful that he could run all java applications in the world and get 2% of resources usage.

– Chuck Norris codes generics since 1.3.

– Chuck Norris’ classes can’t be decompiled… don’t bother trying.