Easy money….

La cinematograf Pierino si Toto, 2 amici, stau la rand sa cumpere bilete.
Toto vede inaintea lor in rand un barbat chelios. II zice lui Pierino:
– Facem pariu pe 100 euro ca ii dau o palma peste chelie astuia din fata noastra?
– Esti nebun, asta te omoara!
Fac ei pariul si numai ce il vezi pe Toto ca ii arde o mare palma omului peste chelie.
Omu se intoarce suparat sa vada ce s-a intamplat. Toto striga:
– Pasquale ce faci, de cand nu ne-am mai vazut!
Omul ii spune ca nu se numeste Pasquale si ca sa scape de rusine pleaca la un etaj mai sus al cinematografului si se aseaza iar la rand sa cumpere bilete.
Toto ii zice lui Pierino:
– Facem pariu pe inca 100 euro, ca mergem langa chelios sus si ii dau iar o mare palma in chelie.
Pierino nu crede, fac pariul si merg amandoi sus.
Toto se apropie de chelios si ii arde o palma zdravana in chelie. Omul se intoarce nervos, iar Toto ii zice:
– Pasquale jos era unul care semana leit cu tine

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch..you may choose any man from a particular floor. Or, you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Cum iti dai seama ca esti nebun

Un jurnalist intreaba directorul unei case de nebuni, care este testul ce se efectueaza pentru a externa un bolnav.
– Umplem cada cu apa, punem alaturi o lingura si o cana. Si ii propunem bolnavului sa goleasca cada de apa.
Jurnalistul, zambind, spune:
– Orice om normal ar lua cana…
– Nu, spune directorul, un om normal ar scoate dopul de la cada. Doriti pat langa geam sau langa usa

O lady intra la un dealer Lexus

O lady intra la un dealer Lexus, si se plimba pe acolo, uitandu-se la masini. Deodata, ocheste cea mai frumoasa si deosebita masina din show-room si se duce tinta la ea sa o inspecteze. In momentul in care se apleaca sa simta pielea fina, un partz mic ii scapa pe neasteptate. Foarte incurcata, se uita ingrijorata in jur sa vada daca a remarcat cineva faptul, sperand totodata ca nici un vanzator nu va aparea din senin tocmai atunci. Dar, cand se intoarce, langa ea statea un vanzator. Cu un zambet larg, acesta-i spune :
– “Buna ziua, doamna. Cu ce va pot ajuta astazi?”
Incercand sa-si mentina un aer sofisticat si actionand ca si cum nimic nu s-ar fi intamplat, ea zambeste catre vanzator si-l intreaba
– “Domnule, care e pretul acestui vehicul deosebit ?”
Vanzatorul, cu acelasi zambet larg, ii spune:
– “Stimata doamna, imi pare foarte rau sa va spun ca daca doar ati tras un vant cand ati atins masina, va veti caca pe dvs. cand veti auzi pretul!”