A blonde at the grocery store:

– I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions
– I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions…
– Ok… than I’ll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions
– I see you don’t understand me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes, but I have no onions
– I see… than I’ll have a tomato, a potato and an onion
– Ok, let’s do this the other way around. If you take the “mato” out of the “tomato”, what do you have?
– Aaaa… “to”?
– Right, and if you take the “tato” out of the “potato”, what do you have?
– Aaaa… “po”?
– Excellent, and if you take the “fuck” out of the “onion”, what do you have?
– Aaaa… aaa… but there is no “fuck” in “onion”
– Exactly, there is no fuckin’ onion!

Concurs

Un politist vine-ntr-o zi acasa cu un televizor ultimul racnet.
– De unde ai televizoru’? întreaba sotia.
– L-am cîstigat la un concurs organizat de politie.
– Ce fel de concurs?
– De matematica.
– Si ce v-au dat de facut?
– “Cît fac 5×5?” Iar eu, cu 17, am iesit pe locul trei.